Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Feeling Gray

March 27th started like any other day could have, until I got out out the door and spotted a dark haired, limp animal on my lawn. It was my cat, Smokey. He had been gone now for about three months and now...this.

(Warning potential graphic language to follow)

When I first saw him off in the distance, I had no idea what it was. My first thought was that it was a beaver or woodchuck. As I got closer I could see that it was a cat - Smokey. His body laid on the ground in a somewhat twisted pose, his back paws to one side of his body, his front paws to the other side. We had alot of rain last night, and it looks like he was out in the middle of it and got a good soaking. Smokey had patches where the fur was missing showing his skin on his thighs. His tail showed had bones visible for a few inches. I don't mean to sound even more morbid, but it looked like he had a large cavity (that shouldn't be there) on his rear, under his tail. I saw no blood.

I wept. I buried Smokey in the back yard.

It is still a mystery to me as to what really happed to Smokey. I did not see any blood on him at all, which I find very strange considering the depth of his wounds. I felt really strange to do this, but even took photographs in case if a someone had need of clarifications (I did not know if the veterinarian would want information). I don't know for sure what happened to him, nor do I know when it happened. The veterinarian's office says that it could have been an animal attack or even a severe infection or kitty leukemia. They said that they'd have to do tests to actually know the cause. I figure there is no point to do testing now.

I made it into work about ninety minutes late. I'm still emotional at times. Smokey may have been the one with the smoke colored fur, but today I find myself feeling gray. It's such a feeling because as sad as I am, I know that as bad as things were for Smokey he wanted come home and did.

smokey2005

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