Sign of Requiem

Saturday was a day of escape. A friend called, inviting me to tour some of the Newport mansions. The tickets were paid for. I jumped at the opportunity to get away. I've been feeling a bit of guilt lately, as I've spent barely any real quality time with family or friends as of late. I've taken every opportunity I could lately to get out somewhere. I felt even more guilty now, but guess realistically this trip was some of that quality time I desired. It was with a friend, but I know I was using it to divert me mentally from my spouting out Friday . At least it was only verbal, and perhaps more than deserved, but my loss of self control left me even more agitated. Losing control in the wrong place is seldom a good thing. We managed to see four of the mansions, and catch two quick meals. I enjoyed Newport, and was absorbing quite a bit from what the tours provided, learning a bit about some of that Gilded Age culture.

Sunday began with a lack of direction. Even though the day progressed into a hot and humid one, I eventually decided to mow the lawn. It gave me an opportunity to try and focus on something other than my previous week's distress, get some exercise, and now a necessary chore is out of the way. The lawn looks good again. The mower is sounding better with every tweak. I'm planning to go even further soon and trim some of the brush that are developing into small trees.

While mowing I came across a plastic ball. It's been there for a long time. Smokey used to play with it. It bears many cuts and breaks from previous mowings, to the point that it no longer resembles its original appearance. I never could get myself to dispose of it. Today I did.

Later, in the evening, I was taking care of some paperwork and by coincidence came across an old folder filled with Smokey's old medical records. Vaccinations, history, and collar tags (which I kept, although Smokey never wore a collar) were all neatly in order. I decided it was time for these papers to go to.

I feel as if there was some kind of significance with letting go of these things today. I would not have expected to see them both in the same day, but there they were. It's as if there was some need to bring it to a close now. My restlessness seeks some kind of closure too.